...with my new 40-ton splitter.
Lady down the street had a massive oak fall across her yard. Damn thing sat there for a couple weeks, then another neighbor cut it up. The cut pieces sat there for a couple more weeks so one day I saw her out in the yard and asked her if she was going to use the wood. Answer="no". I took all I could carry in one trailer load. Finally got around to splitting it.
What a story, eh?