This morning, around 7:00 AM, I went for my stroll around the docks.
I noticed a man shouting "Allah be praised!" and "Death to all Infidels!", when suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying.
If he didn't get help he would surely drown!
Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I contacted the Police, the Coast Guard, Homeland Security and even the Fire Department!
It is now 11:00 AM, the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have responded.
I'm starting to think I just wasted four stamps.
Be sure to tip your waitress. I'll be here all weekend!
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